One big challenge I struggle with is perfectionism. To be called a perfectionist almost sounds like a compliment — the adjective perfect creates the illusion of a good trait. Being meticulous is good, but when it is taken too far, it hinders progress. Perfectionism often gets in the way of my creativity and self-expression.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines perfectionism as:
a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable
I see this disposition clearly in my creative process. When I imagine something new, I picture the perfect end state — everything works and feels right, and I feel inspired. But as soon as I start executing, the gap between reality and feeling becomes apparent. That gap makes me want to leave the idea untouched. It can stay flawless and acceptable, albeit in my own mind.
A great example is in writing this piece. I imagine people reading, and feeling like they resonated with it. As I begin to write, I have a creeping suspicion that my thoughts are too shallow and start second guessing whether or not to continue.
Artificial Intelligence amplifies this feeling of inadequacy. Thanks to our collective knowledge, ChatGPT and Claude can easily author a more insightful article on the same topic, rate my writing, and even list out my mistakes like a laundry list. When the AI sets a tangible bar for what is good and correct, it makes my mere human output pale in comparison. When there is always a "better" response, it becomes difficult to trust my own intuition.
I frequently use AI tools in work and life, and they have performed so reliably that I have started to treat them as a source of truth. A Magic 8 ball that knows best. Given my endless conversations with AI chats, I fear that someday, I might lose my ability to confidently express a thought or to creatively solve a problem without the help of our AI friends.
Thankfully, this very fear also reminds me to embrace my humanly limitations and to continue to rely on my mental faculties. I know that it is virtually impossible for me, and most of humanity to get through life without relying on some form of help from AI. Yet, we have to continously exercise the muscle of creating novel (at least from one's perspectives) pieces of work. Just like how we have to intentionally keep our bodies functional after the Industrial Revolution, we have to do the same with our minds in this age of AI. That means embracing flaws, and being ok work that aren't necessarily perfect — but trusting that we will improve with each iteration.
In writing this article, I recall a familiar sense of unease. There must be parts that I must have skimmed over, or failed to connect. I have this urge to paste the entire writing into an AI chat, and have it polish my writing and tell me where the problems are. But, I choose to hold off, for a few hours at least. I want to embrace the discomfort of not immediately fixing the imperfections.
Reflections
Through this process of writing, I distilled a few principles that guided me:
- Embrace the feeling of inadequacy, and trust that process and learning comes after
- Delaying the gratification of AI helps to tune into your own thoughts
- Use AIs to accelerate learning instead of getting the answer directly
Writing this piece took a considerable amount of effort, but it reminded me of something important: progress is practice, and practice makes perfect (hah).